QB or not QB, That is the Question

The following is an excerpt from the secret files of Scott Pioli, GM of the Kansas City Chiefs:

Well, we are officially DFL in the NFL, so I guess it's time we start to think about how we use that high draft pick we're sure to have in April.  There don't appear to be any overrated LSU defensive linemen we can draft several rounds and places too high, so I might need to bite the bullet and draft a QB in the first round.  Let's take a look at the notes I've compiled on this year's prospects.

Matt Barkley, USC -- Boy, he has great skills.  Nice arm, reads the field well.  What's that? He was a four year starterfor USC.  Not a chance.  I prefer to throw obscene amounts of money at four year backups from USC.

Geno Smith, West Virginia -- Boy, he does a lot of nice things . . . until he plays some real competition.  Has floundered against tougher teams and is getting the dreaded "system QB" label. He could be the best thing to ever happen to KC, or a huge monumental bust as an NFL quarterback.  I like the sounds of that.  I'm keeping my eye on this kid.

Collin Klein, KSU -- Local kid from K-State.  Smart. Tough. Wins games. Great moral character. I've been told he's a film room junkie and constantly looks to improve himself.  Taking all that into account, he's definitely not a Chiefs-type player.

Landry Jones, OU -- What an upside to his kid! Comes from a storied program.  Great record as a starter.  Big arm.  The only knock on him is they say he disappears during big games.  Well, the Chiefs won't be playing any big games any time soon, so this could be a perfect match!

Denard Robinson, Michigan -- Tom Brady was from Michigan. Tom Brady is awesome.  Therefore, all Michigan QBs are awesome.  This could be the one!

AJ McCarron, Alabama -- 18 Touchdown passes, 0 interceptions.  I don't know, isn't that number supposed to be reversed?  I don't think I like the sounds of those stats. . .

Joe Thiesman, Free Agent -- He called me, but I like that moxie.  Doesn't hurt that he told me himself that he's the greatest QB to ever play in the NFL.