Tommy Boy, the Pipes Are Calling

In my last blog post, I detailed my struggles with weight loss/gain throughout most of my life. The last part of that dealt with me losing a considerable amount of weight due to a health condition I wasn't even aware of. Some people know all of that story. Some people know some of that story. And I'm sure there are some of you who know nothing of that story. If I've learned anything from my friend Terry's blog and the blog/comic strip of Mark Teel it's that readers seem to like personal stories. Since it's now the fifth anniversary of that experience, I will tell you that story (in several parts). . .

It begins like this: Chris Farley saved my life. That may sound very odd, but it's true. I've spent the better part of my adult life being compared to Chris Farley, so it was only natural for me to appreciate his body of work. As a stressful first semester of the 05-06 school year as winding down, I was allowing my students to watch the epic film Tommy Boy as I graded finals and put grades into the computer.

I happened to look up during one of my favorite parts and the screen was obscured by a large gray blob shaped like the state of West Virgina. I blinked and looked back at the screen. It was still there. I rubbed my contact a little. Still West Virginia. Finally, I asked the class, "Does anyone else see a large gray blob on the screen?" The consensus agreement was that I was crazy.

I convinced myself that it was probably time to change my contacts, so once I got home I changed them out. I opened my refreshed eyes to see . . . West Virginia. I took out my contacts and put on my glasses. Still saw the blob hovering in the middle of my vision. I told my wife, who is a nurse, about it. Even though she had no explanation for it, she told me she'd get me an appointment with our eye doctor ASAP.

In the meantime, I did what any normal person would do under these circumstances -- I got online and went to Web MD and Yahoo! Health and any other site I could think of. This, of course, did nothing more than scare the crap out of me. Explanations for my symptoms ranged macular degeneration to AIDS. I sorted through all the information, assured myself I'd know if I had AIDS and that I was most likely too young for macular degeneration. The only thing that made sense was a detached retina. It made sense because a few days prior to the appearance of the blob, I had banged my head hard enough to see stars and black out momentarily. Heck, I once had a soccer player detach his retina heading a ball, so it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility.

I went to bed that night convinced that I would go see the doctor the next day and he'd tell me that I had a detached retina and they would have some cool plan for fixing it. This did not help me sleep well that night. Actually, I hadn't been sleeping well at night for quite some time. I would rarely go to bed before midnight, and my sleep was constantly interrupted by me laying awake listening to the blood rush through my ears. As I said previously, I had had a very stressful first semester, and I attributed my lack of sleep to stress. I'd also been fighting a sinus infection for quite sometime as well, which was giving me pounding headaches. I'd often go to bed at midnight, wake up at 4:00 AM, and then not go back to bed. At least I'd be able to get the eye thing figured out quickly and be able to look at people without West Virginia being in the way.

The next morning my wife called and told me she'd been able to get me into the optometrist that day. It was a pretty routine appointment until he looked in the right eye. His diagnosis shocked me. I didn't have a detached retina. I had a burst blood vessel in my eye. West Virgina was actually blood in the goopy stuff (vitreous humor -- i know the real term) inside my eye. Furthermore, I had a couple more blood vessels in both eyes that were quite swollen. he went down a checklist with me. Did I have diabetes? No. Did I have a history of high blood pressure? No. I'd been on blood pressure medicine once several years ago, but through exercise and my recent weight loss it had been great lately. I just had it checked recently (in fact it had been four months). Had I had any major blows to the head recently? Check! I told him of hitting my head in the closet. He agreed that may be the cause of my problem, and set up an appointment with a retinal specialist about 10 days from then. I felt pretty good as I left the optometrist's office.

That night, my wife and I discussed things. I told her what the doctor had said.
"Well, do you think your blood pressure might be high again?" she asked.
"No. It's been fine. Last time I took it -- like a month ago -- it was 120/80, The lowest it's been on forever. And I've been exercising, and I've lost 45 pounds. Why would it be high?" I said.
"well, you keep having those headaches, and that can be a sign of high blood pressure."
"I have a sinus infection is all. You know I get those all the time."
"Well, Maybe you should go to the doctor and find out for sure. At least to get something for the sinus infection, because the antibiotics you've been taking aren't working, obviously."
"OK, I'll go."

Like any man, I put off going to the doctor. A few nights later we had Christmas Eve at my mother-in-law's house. I could barely do anything, since my head was pounding. My mother-in-law kindly gave me an 800mg ibuprofen tablet she had leftover from a recent surgery. It helped a little. I did notice, though, as I ran around the house with Lukas and his cousin, I was winded easily and sweating profusely. Sweating profusely is not a state of concern for me usually, it's just my usual state. This night, however, was different. It was almost like a cold sweat. I also noticed I was having trouble following a conversation whenever I took a break and sat down to talk with the adults. I brushed it off, and the next day I felt better.

My wife kept after me about seeing the doctor about my sinus infection. Finally, on December 30th, I caved in and went to immediate care. I went in early, at 8:00 AM, Lukas in tow, to beat any rush. I got in quickly and the nurse took me back.

"What are you here for today?" she asked.
"I think I have a sinus infection," I replied.
"And what makes you think you have a sinus infection?"
"Well, I keep having these horrible headaches right here," i said as I made a motion to the general area of my sinus cavities.
The nurse laughed and said, "OK, let's get your vitals and then we'll get you back to see the doctor."

I sat down and she took my temperature. It was fine. Then she hooked me up to a blood pressure machine. It started and then beeped that it was finished.

"Well, let's check that again," the nurse said, " Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor?"
"A little. It depends on the doctor, " I said as she started the machine again.
"Hmm. That's the same again. Do you have a history of high blood pressure?"
"No, not really. I usually run a little high on those machine things, instead of the arm cuff though."
"Well, this is more than little high," the nurse said with a look of concern on her face.
This led to a look of concern on my face, "What is it?"
"210/140"

Next time: The Slow and the Serious