Awhile back, my AT&T U-Verse crapped out on me. I was literally without cable TV or Internet access for 24 hours. It was quite an ordeal getting it repaired, because AT&T had to send someone to the house to fix it. Unfortunately, they entered a wrong digit for my phone number int he AT&T data base, so it became a big pain in the butt to get my cable running -- and I missed Monday Night Football. it was a terrible inconvenience for me, which is exactly how I explained it to the nice lady who was informing me that I had missed my appointment because they had entered my phone number wrong and that someone would be out between 5-9 that night (it was closer to 9:00). The reason I mention this is that when I mentioned that I was now a FORMERLY happy AT&T customer, they jumped on the grenade and gave me HBO free for three months to placate me. And, this, ladies and gentlemen, has allowed me to watch The Incredible Hulk roughly 16 times in the past month.
Let me point out immediately, that by The Incredible Hulk, I mean the new one. The one with Ed Norton and Liv Tyler. The good one. I actually saw this twice in the theater, the first movie to earn that distinction since maybe Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Those of you who know me well will find this no surprise at all. I have been a huge Hulk mark my entire life. As a matter of fact, I even defended the first Hulk movie, The Hulk, and it's crappy Ang Lee directed story. I said it "wasn't that bad" and that "I liked the Hulk parts, I just wish there'd been more of them" and "Jennifer Connelly looked hot in it." What I've since discovered is that just like in the comics (except for crappy red Hulk -- Nice work Loeb), the new version Hulk always kicks the snot out of the old version Hulk.
Then, during one of the many viewings of The Incredible Hulk, it dawned on me.....How the hell did that happen when you have Ang Lee directing your movie??? Having Ang Lee make a movie that sucks is like turning your kid's little league football team over to Mike Ditka and having it lose. You have to take all things into account here. Ang Lee directed an Oscar-nominated movie about gay cowboys. Yes, gay cowboys and Oscar-nominated were used together in the last sentence. So how does THAT guy make the Hulk suck? Which would be harder to work with -- big green guy who smashes stuff or gay cowboys? In any case, Brokeback Mountain gets rave reviews, and The Hulk gets, at best, mixed reviews. And I develop a deep seeded loathing of Ang Lee.
I've actually spent a lot of time trying to figure out how this happened, and I think I have it figured out. When Ang Lee started to make The Hulk, he vowed to create a Hulk movie with feeling and heart, that was more than just "Hulk Smash!" Therein lies the problem. Die hard Hulk fans want to see "Hulk smash," not "Hulk looks within himself to try to figure out his daddy issues and how these have thus affected his relationships as he has matured." Remember the Incredible Hulk TV series? All I ever wanted from that show as to hear the late, great Bill Bixby say, "Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry," because that meant it was time for some Lou Ferrigno-fueled destruction. And that was fun to watch.
The new Incredible Hulk movie has lots of smashing. But, almost ironically, it has a lot more heart and feeling to it than the crummy Ang lee movie. As a big fan of the Hulk comics (I currently own a run of nearly ever book between issues 300 and 400 from the 80s and 90s), I thought the little things that the new movie touched on, like the relationship between Betty Ross and Bruce Banner, and the dynamic between Betty and General Thunderbolt Ross, was more successful in the new movie. The other thing I like about it?....lots of HULK SMASH!!!! And the Hulk shouting, "Hulk smash!" I am especially fond of the smashing parts.
Well, I think it's about time to wrap up my blogging for the night. I feel better now having unleashed some of my Ang Lee angst, and lauding my boy Hulk. I also just happened to check out the guide on the TV and just happened to notice that one of the 14 HBO channels I'm getting for free is showing The Incredible Hulk in about 15 minutes, and I don't want to miss that.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
I Have Seen the Enemy...and It is Nerds
A couple Sundays ago, I found myself in the car - alone - running errands around town -alone- and realized that for one of the rare moments in my life the past few years, I was actually alone. So, I did what any nearing middle age father would do when face with similar circumstances, I went to the comic book store. This is, actually, a bit unusual for me, because I found that tiny voice in my head that sounds a lot like Jiminy Cricket telling me, "You never go to the comic book store on Sundays. There's a reason for this, you know." You know the voice I'm talking about. It's the same one that told Tiger, "You know, a voice mail here would be a BAD idea, Tiger." And like most men, I completely ignored that little voice. Then I walked into my local neighborhood comic book store, the esteemed Prairie Dog Comics, and realized that there IS a reason I don't go to the comic book store on Sundays. . .Sunday is card gaming day.
I will be the first to admit that I am a nerd, but one thing I have vehemently avoided is playing card games. Aside from a briefs dalliance with Magic, which I swear was a one-time thing and the result of some bad advice from a friend, I don't get into Yu-Gi-Oh, or Magic, or anything else along those lines. As a matter of fact, when I was teaching I was the sponsor of the Comic Book Club and rule #1 was "NO CARD GAMES." Generally, I leave card gaming people to their own little world. But that particular Sunday, in that Particular comic shop, our worlds collided, and I was not happy.
Why, you ask? Allow me to explain. The first thing about card gaming days in the comic store is that the store smells funny on those days. Yes, I know this sounds cruel, but people who work there can back me up on this. The other thing that struck me as odd, is that I noticed one of the teens playing Yu-Gi-Oh had a tripod with a video camera set up so he could record his Yu-Gi-Oh match......which I later learned would be posted on his facebook page. There was also another teenaged boy (that goes without saying -- they were all teenaged boys) who appeared to be some kind of game moderator or something walking amongst the (2) tables of gaming talking trash to the other players. About Yu-Gi-Oh. Seriously.
Now, here is the part where I started to get annoyed. First off, these guys make all nerds look bad. Through the carefully planned success of four "Revenge of the Nerds" movies, Bill Gates, Harvey Pekar, and the Spider-Man move franchise (OK, just 1 and 2) we've been able to bring about some semblance of respect for nerds. Then these guys come along. Nerds of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains! Only through solidarity will nerd-dom rise above the shackles of preps and jocks. Way to go card dorks, you've set our movement back 20 years.
The other thing that bothered me about this incident, was the sudden memory of what I was doing at their age. When I was a teenager, on Sunday afternoons, I was doing something apparently unheard of to the Yu-Gi-Oh playing denizens of Prairie Dog Comics...I had a JOB! If I wasn't working, I was probably involved in a backyard football game somewhere, or at least watching football somewhere. What I wasn't doing, was sitting inside the comic store, smelling up the joint (once again, this is confirmed by reliable sources), and spending my time declaring the dominance of my nearly unbeatable green deck of magic cards. I try not to get political when I write, but don't you think the economy would benefit from a few teens working part-time jobs. I'm not even going to bother bringing up childhood obesity, though I could, because most of the card playing kids are relatively thin but doughy. Seriously, I don't want to sounds all preachy and stuff, but I can think of about a million other things that teenaged boys could be doing on a Sunday afternoon instead of sitting in the comic store playing Yu-Gi-Oh.
In any case, I left the store as quickly as possible. I called my buddy Hugo, who used to work at the aforementioned comic store, who reminded my that "you never, EVER, go to the store on Sundays" and "at least you don't work there and have to smell the place after they leave." I was pretty relieved to get out of there, to be honest. But then I remembered, someone has to be the Robert Carridine in this scenario and turn the nerds into the heroes they were meant to be. I will be a role model and show these boys the light. I'm just not going to do it on a Sunday. And I'm pretty sure light burns their skin.
I will be the first to admit that I am a nerd, but one thing I have vehemently avoided is playing card games. Aside from a briefs dalliance with Magic, which I swear was a one-time thing and the result of some bad advice from a friend, I don't get into Yu-Gi-Oh, or Magic, or anything else along those lines. As a matter of fact, when I was teaching I was the sponsor of the Comic Book Club and rule #1 was "NO CARD GAMES." Generally, I leave card gaming people to their own little world. But that particular Sunday, in that Particular comic shop, our worlds collided, and I was not happy.
Why, you ask? Allow me to explain. The first thing about card gaming days in the comic store is that the store smells funny on those days. Yes, I know this sounds cruel, but people who work there can back me up on this. The other thing that struck me as odd, is that I noticed one of the teens playing Yu-Gi-Oh had a tripod with a video camera set up so he could record his Yu-Gi-Oh match......which I later learned would be posted on his facebook page. There was also another teenaged boy (that goes without saying -- they were all teenaged boys) who appeared to be some kind of game moderator or something walking amongst the (2) tables of gaming talking trash to the other players. About Yu-Gi-Oh. Seriously.
Now, here is the part where I started to get annoyed. First off, these guys make all nerds look bad. Through the carefully planned success of four "Revenge of the Nerds" movies, Bill Gates, Harvey Pekar, and the Spider-Man move franchise (OK, just 1 and 2) we've been able to bring about some semblance of respect for nerds. Then these guys come along. Nerds of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains! Only through solidarity will nerd-dom rise above the shackles of preps and jocks. Way to go card dorks, you've set our movement back 20 years.
The other thing that bothered me about this incident, was the sudden memory of what I was doing at their age. When I was a teenager, on Sunday afternoons, I was doing something apparently unheard of to the Yu-Gi-Oh playing denizens of Prairie Dog Comics...I had a JOB! If I wasn't working, I was probably involved in a backyard football game somewhere, or at least watching football somewhere. What I wasn't doing, was sitting inside the comic store, smelling up the joint (once again, this is confirmed by reliable sources), and spending my time declaring the dominance of my nearly unbeatable green deck of magic cards. I try not to get political when I write, but don't you think the economy would benefit from a few teens working part-time jobs. I'm not even going to bother bringing up childhood obesity, though I could, because most of the card playing kids are relatively thin but doughy. Seriously, I don't want to sounds all preachy and stuff, but I can think of about a million other things that teenaged boys could be doing on a Sunday afternoon instead of sitting in the comic store playing Yu-Gi-Oh.
In any case, I left the store as quickly as possible. I called my buddy Hugo, who used to work at the aforementioned comic store, who reminded my that "you never, EVER, go to the store on Sundays" and "at least you don't work there and have to smell the place after they leave." I was pretty relieved to get out of there, to be honest. But then I remembered, someone has to be the Robert Carridine in this scenario and turn the nerds into the heroes they were meant to be. I will be a role model and show these boys the light. I'm just not going to do it on a Sunday. And I'm pretty sure light burns their skin.
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