Now, the good news is that while I've been not writing, I've made several important realizations in my life. What follows is a compilation of those very important realizations. I don't want to call them "revelations," because that makes me think of the Book of the Bible where the world ends. And, my thoughts aren't nearly as spiritual or important as, "Hey, guess what? There's going to be a rapture!" So without further ado. . .
- Under no uncertain circumstances is it OK to let your dog poop on the sidewalk. Every time I run my dog (this consists of me riding a bike and the dog doing the running), I take the same sidewalk in a residential neighborhood with a large amount of pedestrian sidewalk traffic. I've noticed that every time there is dog poop on the sidewalk. Not like a random piece occasionally, but full on piles, in regular intervals. NOT COOL PEOPLE! Once, my dog pooped in the gutter and I had a conniption fit. It's just disrespectful to dogs like mine who poop in the field across the street.
- While I'm on the topic of things that aren't cool to do in a residential area with a large amount of pedestrian sidewalk traffic...If you live near a pond with ducks, where people like to stop with their kids to feed the ducks, it's not cool to put up signs all over that say "PRIVATE PROPERTY" in order to keep FAMILIES with CHILDREN from enjoying the ducks. It's also not cool for the same person to put fence pickets up on one side of their deck to screen out their neighbors. There's places for people who don't like being around other people, it's called Wyoming.
- As I get older, I realize that there are a lot of things I just can't do anymore. Like the other day, I tried to pop a wheelie on my bike and hop a curb. That was possible when I was 8. Not so much at 38.
- However, it's still possible AND fun, to go really fast on a bike.
- Why is it that every time I share with my parents that one of my kids has done something stupid/annoying/dangerous my dad just laughs?
- There has to be an age at which kids can eat without getting food all over their face. I watched my son eat pudding the other day -- with a spoon -- and half of it ended up split between his face and his shirt. I am seriously afraid to pack pudding in his lunch for fear of what his teacher will think of me when he returns to class with pudding all over his face (and shirt).
- I have a theory that Clorox is owned by the Catholic Church. What other explanation is there for a private school to think white shirts are a good idea for elementary school children to wear every day?
- I also have a theory about the Persian Mafia, but I keep that quiet. The Persian Mafia is everywhere.
- It is physically impossible for me to watch even a trailer of Where the Wild Things Are (the movie) without getting a little choked up. It makes me think of all the times I read that book as a child, and how that was the first book I bought for my son when he was born, and all the times I read it to him. Yep, I am getting choked up just writing this.
- My mom got good news about a book she was shopping around to publishers. I'm excited about this because she's my mom and it's always been her dream to have a novel published. Mostly, though, I am excited because my mom has always said, "When I finally hit it big with my novel, I'll take the whole family to Hawaii or on a cruise." Yes, my mother raised a selfish child. And I will settle for Florida or Cancun.
I can hear my neighbor's dog barking right now, which means Sami, the big yellow dog, is getting it all riled up by bugging it from our side of the fence. That means it's time for me to sign off. I promise to be more regular with my blog posts from here on out. If you have any good ideas, please feel free to share them with me. Until next time...Excelsior, true believers!!!
